29 May 58 BCE: From Cicero (at Thessalonica) to Atticus (in Rome)

Cicero worries for his brother Quintus

Cicero greets Atticus.

I have already written to you with the reasons I didn’t go to Epirus—it is both near Achaea, where my boldest enemies are, and it would be difficult to leave when the time came for me to go.

It so happened that while I was at Dyrrachium, two messages reached me, one saying that my brother was coming to Athens from Ephesus by ship, and the other that he was coming on foot through Macedonia.¹ And so I sent word ahead to Athens to say that he should carry on from there to Thessalonica. I myself kept going and reached Thessalonica on May 23rd, but I have yet to hear anything certain about his journey, except that he set out from Ephesus a while ago.

Right now, I am very frightened about what is happening in Rome. Although you write in one letter (dated May 15th) that he will face a violent prosecution,² in another letter you say the situation is calming down. But that letter was sent the day before the other, and that disturbs me even more. And so between my own day-to-day grief wounding me and wearing me out, and this additional worry, I am only scarcely still alive.

But then again, the voyage was very difficult, and maybe he was unsure where I would be and went another direction. My freedman Phaëtho did not see him; he was forced back to Macedonia from Ilium by the wind and met me at Pella.³

I see clearly how terrifying the rest of the situation is, and I don’t know what to write. I am terrified of everything, and there is no evil so terrible that I do not think it could strike my brother and me in our current misfortune. In any case, I am still miserable amid my own monumental troubles and sorrows—and now this added fear too. I remain in suspense at Thessalonica and dare nothing.

Now to the subject of your letter. I have not seen Caecilius Trypho. I have understood your conversation with Pompey from your letter. Personally, I do not see any imminent change in the political situation as important as what you either see coming—or say you do, just to console me. The incident with Tigranes has been ignored, and so it’s all over.⁴

You tell me to thank Varro. I shall, as well as Hypsaeus.⁵ You urge me not to travel any further until the record of goings-on from May reaches me; I think I shall do so, but I haven’t decided where to go yet. And my heart is so full of worry about Quintus that I can’t make any decision at all. But still, I shall let you know.

I think you can see from the inconsistency of my letters the chaos my mind is in—and although I have been struck by an unbelievable and unprecedented calamity, this complete chaos is not so much a result of my own misery as it is the remembrance of my own fault. For surely now you see who wickedly urged me on and betrayed me.⁶ I wish you had seen it sooner, and not devoted your whole heart to grieving as I did! And so, when you hear that I am wracked and worn out by sorrow, consider that I am pained more by the price of my stupidity than that of the event itself, in that I trusted a man I did not think to be nefarious.

Grief⁷ for the evils I am suffering and fear for my brother prevent me from writing.⁸ Please manage and see to everything over there. Terentia is most thankful to you. I have sent you a copy of the letter I have written to Pompey.

Sent May 29th, from Thessalonica.

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Latin text of Cic. Att. 3.8 | Glossary | Where is Cicero?

1. Cicero’s brother Quintus had been governing the province of Asia since 61 BCE. It would not be too out of the way for him to try to visit Cicero in exile on his way back to Rome.

2. Cicero fears his brother could be prosecuted by Clodius for some made up offence.

3. Ilium was another name for Troy. The description ‘Windy Ilium’ is used several times in the Iliad so this might be a (bad) joke.

4. Footnote borrowed from E.S. Shuckburgh: ‘Tigranes, a son of the king of Armenia, was brought to Rome by Pompey to adorn his triumph, and put under the care of Lucius Flavius. This prince was, for a bribe, released by Clodius by a trick, and the attempt to get him away led to a scuffle in which lives were lost. Pompey regarded this as a slight upon himself, and his partisan, the consul Gabinius, attempted to prevent it. But both were hustled in the forum and treated with insults. The hope of a breach in the triumvirate arose from the supposition that Clodius had the support of Caesar in his high-handed proceeding (Dio, 38.30; Plut. Pomp. 48; Ascon. 47).’

5. Varro and Hypsaeus were both associated with Pompey, but it’s unclear what Cicero should be thanking them for.

6. In later letters, Cicero will make it clear that he means Hortensius, who advised him to accept exile instead of attempting to fight when Clodius put forward his first law effectively exiling Cicero.

7. I am using Shackleton Bailey’s edition of the Latin text, which reads maeror (grief) here. But other editions and some manuscripts read memoria (memory) instead. They’re kind of the same thing to Cicero at this point though.

8. I couldn’t find a way to retain the alliteration in me et meorum malorum maeror et metus, but it reminded me of a cat meowing wretchedly.